Tried & Tested: Nectar Juice Cleanse
Here’s the DL: Nectar Juicery offers cleanses aimed at restoring your body to its personalized ideal state of being. Our editors Sarah (a veteran cleanser) and Adrienne (we’re gonna go with “cleanse virgin,” here) simultaneously attempt to subsist off six daily juices, with Sarah’s geared toward chill-out purposes and Adrienne’s strategized for anti-laziness, so, ouch. Let the games begin.
DAY #1
Sarah: Prescription: Alkaline cleanse, “best suited to those who run hot in body and temper.” Apparently I will spend the next three days hangry (hungry/angry). The first green "Daily V" juice is delicious, but I still covet the steaming food-truck boxes downtown. I want them more because I can’t have them. Grrr. I’m a step or two behind at my Barre class today. Some things never change.
Adrienne: Prescription: Energize cleanse, “for those looking for motivation and energy.” I feel cold and infirm. I’m not particularly hungry, but when food Instagrams appear on my feed, I’m like, “Oh that looks good.” By 6 p.m. I thought I’d be asleep but I actually embark on a super-productive evening of writing, arranging work collaborations and mediating familial conflict. Huh.
DAY #2
Sarah: Morning is easy; it’s around juice No. 4 that I start feeling like I can’t be sated by liquid alone. The "Cool Aid" cucumber-based juice goes down quick and easy; the chia-and-hemp-based “Release” with bubble tea-type floaties, not so much. I run into Adrienne in the office kitchen. She’s drinking water and flipping through the new Lesley Stowe cookbook. “I’m having lunch,” she says. Nectar’s cleanse coach warns me I may be feeling head-achey and tired now (actually, not till Day 3). An infrared sauna and massage after work help. Hey, the cleanse instructions say to “treat yourself well.”
Adrienne: I woke up #flawless at 5 a.m. and had juice No. 1 in bed listening to a podcast about the Galapagos, read, cleaned my apartment and danced around ... all before work. Truthfully told everyone I felt “spectacular.” I am a fembot with no need for human sustenance.
DAY #3
Sarah: It’s not so much that I am hungry, I just miss the mouth-feel of food. Plus, I’m now at the Whistler Food and Wine Festival, den of temptation. Adrienne dares me to bring a spittoon to my wine dinner. I do not.
Adrienne: Received a message from Nectar warning Day 3 would be emotional. Opened and read it in the midst of an unprecedented laugh-cry. I’ve had trouble making it to juice No. 6 each day; it’s like the final level of Banjo-Kazooie, i.e., weirdly impossible. Still haven’t been hungry, but would really like to lie face down and whine.
CONCLUSION
Sarah: Do I feel a new mental clarity? Boosted and energized? Did I drop five like I’d hoped? Yes, yes and no. But I loved the morning juices so much I plan on integrating them into my routine. No need to be hangry after all.
Adrienne: It felt pretty cool to not have to eat, I wasn’t hungry and I did get a ton of energy and a conversational topic I wanted to bring up to everyone/tweet about relentlessly. Plus, I felt like I deserved a medal the whole time (possibly reading "#1 Juice Drinker Except for Juice No. 6, Too Much Juice"). Will definitely attempt another cleanse, A+.
Nectar Juicery offers three-, five- and 10-day cleanses, plus fresh, on-tap corporate catering. —Sarah Bancroft & Adrienne Matei